MALE ALLIES
The next generation is looking to you. What will you show them it means to be a Káa (man)?
Have you seen our campaign messages?
Our campaign, What It Means To Be a Káa (Man), spotlights previous Boys Run I toowú klatseen (BRITK) coaches that are positive male mentors who role-model alternative, more holistic ways of being a man. The BRITK program, meant for 3rd through 5th grade boys, teaches participants that being a "strong" man means having strength of spirit (I toowú klatseen). This place-based curriculum relies on male coaches who model their masculinity authentically for a healthier generation of men and boys.
These messages, which you will find on this webpage, on social media, in newspapers, on the radio, at the movies, in coffee shops and at restaurants, work to counter the harmful ones that boys are getting about masculinity. It gives them a different narrative about how they can show up in the world as boys, and eventually men.
To learn more about BRITK and its importance, hear from the coaches below.
To Hear more from the coaches, keep scrolling!
Gunalchéesh Chuck Miller, Daanax.ils’eik
This campaign is dedicated to Chuck Miller, Daanax.ils’eik, who played a key role in the development of both this media campaign as well as the BRITK program. As a mentor, storyteller, and cultural knowledge bearer, he truly embodied his life motto, Kaa yáa awooné — showing respect for everyone and everything.
We are incredibly grateful to have worked so closely with Chuck for so many years and are honored to continue sharing his messages with generations to come.
Thank you to the following businesses for partnering with us!
The messages we get about manhood
Did you know that men and boys are at greater risk of death at EVERY stage of life as compared to women and girls? This is largely due to the pressure on men and boys to conform to unrealistic standards of what it means to “be a man”. From the day they are born, those who are biologically male are told and shown how they should navigate life from childhood to death. These messages come from everywhere (e.g., media, family, friends), all of the time. So what exactly are these unrealistic standards about manhood? Watch the video below to learn more.
REFLECTION Questions
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What messages were you told growing up about how to be a boy?
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How did those messages shift how you acted, felt, dressed, thought?
Why Messages matter
So why does it matter that boys and men are receiving these messages? Well, research shows that these unrealistic expectations about manhood can have harmful consequences for those who subscribe to them, as well as those they interact with. For instance, a man who internalizes these expectations around manhood is more likely to be depressed, commit suicide, commit acts of violence against others, (e.g., sexual, domestic, bullying), and partake in risk-taking behaviors, etc.
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As boys grow into men who subscribe to these unhealthy standards, they begin to show and tell the next generations that this is what it means to be a "real man.” This creates a cycle of future generations of boys and men who are at higher risk for unhealthy behaviors (e.g., violence, substance use issues). This is why we need positive male mentors who can help redefine manhood, building up future generations of healthy and happy men and boys! Check out the video below to learn more about these unrealistic standards and their effects!
REFLECTION Questions
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What did you do when the messages you received did not align with your actual self? Did you conform?
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How did it feel to do that?
Showing up for the next generation
Boys will be what they see, which means that they are looking to the men in their lives to understand how to proceed. Will you show them that while boys and men are taught that anger, violence, and domination are socially acceptable ways to be a man, there is an alternative path? That it is men's responsibility to role model a healthier, more authentic version of masculinity, one that allows boys to express their emotions, be vulnerable, and embrace the full spectrum of being human?
REFLECTION Questions
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What does your masculinity look like? What values are important to you?
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How will you work to be your more authentic self?
It is important to remember that there will be mistakes made; this is an ever-evolving learning journey. It is not easy to unlearn these standards around manhood and to move forward in a healthier way. This is especially true when there are so many people who do not see the harm these messages can cause.
On way to ensure you are moving forward in a better way is to hold yourself accountable for mistakes you make and show the boys in your life and your peers that it is okay to slip up for the sake of growing into a more authentic you. Here are a few ways to hold yourself accountable:
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Take Ownership: accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences, both positive and negative, without blaming external forces.
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Be honest with yourself: Acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings
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Learn from mistakes: Instead of making excuses, reflect on what happened and what you can do differently next time. Make a plan to fix problems you've created.
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Accept feedback: Be open to constructive criticism and see it as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack.
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Fix what you break: If you make a mistake, apologize sincerely and take action to fix the problem or make amends
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Fulfill your obligations: Follow through on your commitments without excuses.
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Build a support system: Talk to trusted friends, mentors, or a therapist to get perspective and practice accountability in a healthy way.
"There is not a role of man or masculine to be filled, it is just being a good person."
-Cyrus Unvala
REFLECTION Questions
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How will you role model your masculinity for others, peers and young boys alike?
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How will you embrace others' masculinity?
"What will you show the next generation it means to be a káa (man)?"
Here's what community members shared...
"The importance of leading with compassion and being in touch with your emotions and desires outside of societal expectations."
"Respect! And open doors to pursue a passion."
"Showing my grandson that a man can do things typically associated with women, such as cooking, serving, making people comfortable- and to be fair at all times."
"To see the beauty in life, to be okay being bad at things, and to do all things with love."
"I hope to create a space for youth-male youth-in my life to explore femininity without expectations. I think any interests are neutral and should be treated as such. I can find femininity in fishing and masculinity can be found in an hobby or pursuit, or form of expression."
"Empowering boys to be vulnerable, honest, and stand up for others. I've known men so fearful and dismissive of their own emotions and it interferes with their ability to be cared for and genuinely connect with others. I hope this discomfort with emotions is not passed on to the next generation."
"How to deal with frustration and be patient not only with others, but with themselves."
"Be a gentleman; confident enough to be gentle and smart enough to be polite."
"Recognizing your worth and your human-ness requires feeling emotions, empathy, and modeling showing this vulnerability to ensure true connection with others."
"It means to be a thoughtful friend, father, husband and partner. To listen and help, to commiserate and to lean on."
"Strength. Passion. Patience. Compassion. The ability to admit imperfection. Joy."
"Being a man is admitting when you are wrong, being true to your word, and knowing it's ok to be exactly who you are."
"A man must be caring and humble, competent and confident in what he believes about himself and those around him. Eager to learn and grow while grounded in truth and wisdom. A person to trust and who will take on the challenges of life - spiritual, physical, emotional. A champion of those he can help and a servant to his superiors, strong but gentle, doing all he does with wisdom and love."
"My son is being an amazing father by being a stay at home Dad, in order to help his son develop into a happy, healthy, individual...I am so amazed at how young fathers these days, seem so much more involved with their children, than I ever saw, when my kids were growing up. The care seemed to be the main responsibility of the mothers. I think the young fathers are setting a better example for their kids to follow by contributing more to the welfare of the children and helping with household responsibilities so their wives don’t get burned out by having to be responsible for so much and still working full-time and even overtime. Thankfully the times are changing and the young men are stepping up to make the lives of their wives and children more balanced, healthy, and whole."
THINGS TO CHECK OUT
This is a compilation of resources, including organizations, media, videos, campaigns, programs, and other entities that are working to build up the next generation of men.
FOR DADS
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Books, Podcasts, Documentaries
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SHORT VIDEOS
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Campaigns & Programming
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Organizations doing the Work
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Learning more and getting involved
Looking for a specific type of resource that you don't see above or want to learn how to get more involved, fill in the form below and we will get back to you in the following few days!